Waking Dreams
by PSYchOtiC-teNdencieS
Summary: Shoujoai! Shizuka has grown up, and a certain brunette is particularly facinated by the change. She can only identify her strange desires as one thing: love. But how can she possibly hope for Shizuka to return her affections?
1. If I shed a tear

**Disclaimer:** Yuugiou's not mine. Happy?

**A/n: **Okay, I started on this the second I discovered the serious lack of decent shoujo-ai fics. It is ratedT because nothing actually happens in it (yet...), though there are some implications of sexual tension.

And I'm tired of people demanding that yaoi and yuri be considered in the rating. Come on, people! Stop insisting that it 'isn't natural' and that it should be treated as though it isn't! 

Um, right, on a lighter note, enjoy the ficcy!

* * *

She's laughing. Her eyes shine when she laughs- those big, beautiful brown eyes... 

What happened, Shizuka? Where did the innocent little girl go? I see a striking young woman in her place. Can that possibly be you?

When you smile I can't breath. If you talk to me I blush. When your knee gently brushed against mine I was sweating. What's wrong with me? What is it about you that makes me so nervous?

When you left we were such good friends, and vowed to remember each other as sisters. Now you're back, and suddenly I don't feel very sister-like.

I don't know why your touch makes me quiver. I have to deter my eyes from your lips to concentrate. I wet my own lips when I watched you dance at the club.

I helped you pick out your dress: a strapless, dark red one with a small slit on the right side. You weren't sure if it suited you, but I insisted that you looked incredible. You thought your brother would disapprove of it, but he wasn't going, now, was he?

Your hair was pulled back into an elegant bun; your hair is darker now, isn't it? My mouth had gone dry by the time you were ready. There was nothing in the universe more beautiful.

And when we got there you danced. You danced so dynamically that your hair soon came tumbling down. I laughed, watching you through the entirety of the night. I couldn't keep my eyes away.

What is this longing I feel? I've never felt it before- not for another girl. I can't keep ignoring it.

But if I share it... will I disgust you? Would you ever trust me again? I'm so afraid of the truth- I can't stand it!

I'm in love...

...with a woman- an amazing and beautiful woman, but a woman no less.

I simply have to face the fact that Anzu and Shizuka can never be.

* * *

**A/n:** So, did ya like it? I may just leave it with this, but I'm seriously considering continuing with this little fic. At the moment Anzu's lost all hope, but hey, there could be more to Shizuka then meets the eye... 


	2. I won't cage it

**A/n:** Uh, yea, I'm back with another painfully short and rushed chapter. I'll revise it later, perhaps.

* * *

You used to love dancing. 

I remember when you confessed your secret desire to dance professionally. You were my inspiration. You encouraged me to welcome my dreams.

I did, Anzu. Did you?

You've always been beautiful, Anzu. Older, lovelier, stronger than I. Always.

And yet somehow, you've become even more beautiful. You are poise, and you are elegance.

But you are sadness, you are strain and tears.

What will make you smile, Anzu? What will lift your tender heart?

...What will make you mine?

* * *

**A/n:** Like I said, short and rushed. Inspired by Death-Cry's_ Last_: go read it it's fabulous! And now that I've committed to continuing it, expect more from this story. ...But not immediately, of course. I'm way too lazy for quickness. 


	3. If I feel a rage

**A/n:** I'm back, aren't you ever so glad?

Rhetorical question, by the way.

So, here's another miserably short chapter. The writing style is a little different this time around, with dialogue and stuff. It really is progressing very slowly, isn't it? Sorry about that (to those who care).

* * *

"Anzuuuuu," she whines, grabbing my arm in an attempt to drag me from my seat.

"Dance with me, Anzu!"

My eyes snap suddenly from the fair hand on my shoulder to her own, sparkling eyes.

"Shizuka..."

"You haven't even left that stool all night! You are so dancing before we leave."

We're at the same club as yesterday. Once again, I've decided to pass the time watching her from a distance.

"No, Shizuka I-"

"Anzu!" she exclaims playfully at my protests. The smile suddenly fades from her lips. "Anzu," she repeats, "...what is it?"

"Shizuka," I can hardly say it, "I can't... dance anymore."

She's taken the seat next to me, her comforting hand still on my arm. I'm too ashamed to look directly at her, but know from her silence that she means for me to continue.

"You may have noticed that I don't do a lot of walking nowadays," I assemble all my strength to say this without shaking, and manage to chuckle slightly, "And maybe even that my taste in clothes has altered a bit."

I'm wearing a simple but nice white tank-top with dressy blue jeans reaching just past my heels.

"I ..let me show you something, Shizuka."

I hesitantly look around before slowly rolling up the denim material on my left leg. Her eyes widen as they fall upon the leg brace, and I quickly cover it again.

"Anzu..." she turns to me, giving her gentlest look, "how?"

"I fell from a balance beam. First time I ever lost my footing..."

I put down my drink and will myself to look at the gorgeous creature beside me.

"But, Shizuka... I'm so sorry I only told you this now. We're friends, I should be more open than that. You don't deserve-"

I am cut off by the girl's sudden choice to fling her arms around me in a loving hug. I freeze, unprepared for the contact. Her skin is very soft, and I never want it to separate from mine. I somehow manage to return the gesture without giving in to temptation.

"You told me when you were ready," Shizuka said, pulling gently away but keeping my hands clasped in hers, "about something that you had absolutely no control over. Oh Anzu, your dream of dancing..."

"Just dreams," I mumbled, "Foolish, whimsical fantasies."

Like holding you close and calling you mine...

"Always remember, Anzu, that there's so much out there waiting for you. Sometimes you discover things about yourself that you don't expect. Things you really want, and really love. They say love finds a way," she smiles slightly at me, "this is true also of career interests."

"Oh really?" I ask, amused.

"If you love what you do," she replies seriously.

Love finds a way. Hm.

"Hey, why don't you come to my appartment for a bit? Something tells me there's more we need to catch up on then I thought, and it might be nice to get away to somewhere private."

"Uh..."

Appartment room. Shizuka.

I don't think so.

"I don't know, Shizuka..."

"Come on, Anzu," she urges me, collecting her bag and standing, "You can stay the night if we get tired."

I shouldn't, I really shouldn't, but... when she looks at me like that... I can't say no.

I manage to crack her a small smile.

"Okay, Shizuka, but not for too long. We've both got plenty to do tomorrow."

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

**A/n:** Hah. I smell trooouuuble. Poor Anzu. Or maybe lucky?

If you don't **review**, I will discontinue this fic and you will never know the end! It will be a secret kept 'till death! MWAHAHAHAA!

Seriously, though. I need some support! And heck, even if you hate it, at least let me know _why_! How am I supposed to improve if I don't even know what I'm doing wrong?

Those of you did review: live long, and prosper.


	4. I won't deny it

**A/n**: Um, yea. I said I'd wait until I got ten reviews... but I got impatient. Still, I swear, I will... uh... _delete_ this story if you people don't start reviewing like there'll be no tomorrow! How do you like THAT!

* * *

I smile as I lead Anzu by the hand to my car, only letting go to unlock it and climb in. She slides into the passenger's seat beside me, and I start the engine. 

"So, are you still in school?" I ask. She nods.

"Yea, I went back to take more courses."

"Which ones?"

"Just the required stuff, really. I've been taking a deeper look into calculus lately, and I'm thinking about quantum physics."

"Really? Do you get it?"

She shrugs.

"I guess. I mean it's not _that_ hard."

I gape at her.

"Are you kidding? A _lot_ of people don't understand that level of mathematics and stuff- myself included."

"...What are you taking, Shizuka?"

"Oh, I'm into rhetoric. I take several grammar-oriented classes, along with a few artsy ones. I'm in drama club, and- I go to an all girl's school, right? So we did _The Taming of the Shrew_ cast with girls only, and it was so _weird_! I mean, it's such a sexist play, and here we were a bunch of girls pretending to be prejudiced against our own sex! It really was a lot of fun, though. And most of us were gay, so it wasn't a wholly uncomfortable situation."

...Oh shit, did I just say that?

"Uh... that is to say, I was a very small part and didn't have to act like I was all in love with any of the other girls, so I was okay too."

And that sounds idiotic.

"...Woah, awkward," I giggle nervously, glancing quickly at her through the rear-view mirror. Her expression is unreadable, and her eyes are unfocused. Ack, silence strikes! "Anzu?"

"Hm?" she looks vaguely surprised, as though suddenly aware that of my existence. I look at her suspiciously.

"...Were you even listening?"

"Uh..." Aha, the tables turn! "I'm very sorry, Shizuka, I'm just so tired. I must've... spaced."

"Where'd I lose you?"

"You mentioned something about _Taming of the Shrew, _I think."

"Ah... well after that I just started babbling, so you didn't really miss anything."

"But I like it when you babble," she says, smirking slightly.

I can feel the heat rise to my face, and because my self-control is only so high (meaning nadda), I thank god for the darkness of night.

"Well obviously it wasn't particularly interesting anyway, as you didn't even listen to it," eek, that came out a little harsher than I meant it too. I glance at Anzu again, and notice with guilt that she looks hurt.

"Hey... I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, you're right," she interrupts, smiling apologetically, "that was rude of me. I really do usually enjoy listening to you talk, though."

I blink.

She likes to hear me talk? _I_, who cannot _stop_ babbling about the stupidest things?

"It's just... um, well... your skirt..."

Uh? My skirt?

I look down at the navy blue skirt I'd carefully picked out for tonight- and nearly crash into another car.

"OH MY GOD!"

A gigantic rip has somehow developed along my thigh, reaching up to my waist and revealing my undergarb.

* * *

**A/n**: Yea. I'm leaving you right there. AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT! 

Seriously, I think you would react like that if your panties were showing quite plainly in front of someone you were kinda hoping to impress! Some people happen to look good like that, though. Most people, however, don't _think_ that they look good in panties, however, so it would be a very panicky situation.

REVIEW!


	5. I won't fear love

**A/n**: Well, here it is- the _final_ installment of this fic. Unless I decide to go off and make it an epic novel... which I don't believe I will.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this already (waaaay to lazy to check right now), but the lyrics to _Fumbling Towards Ecstasy _are serving as chapter titles and being incorporated a bit into this last chapter. This song belongs to Sarah Mclachlan, pas moi.

Sadly.

BUT ONE DAY I SHALL RULE THE WORLD! Or, more specifically, my associates will achieve world domination and simply share their conquests with me.

* * *

_All the fear has left me now..._

* * *

I stumble away from the vehicle, amazed to be in one piece.

"We missed the truck?" I ask, still feeling somewhat dazed. She tsks, rolling her eyes and stomping up to the door with her keys.

"Of _course_ we missed the truck. I'm not _that_ bad a driver, Anzu!"

As I follow her inside, I decide not to mention that it had taken her a good ten minutes of screaming and cursing to figure out that she was on the wrong side of the road...

"Besides, if we had, it would have been YOUR fault!"

I sigh.

"Shizuka-"

"Why, for the love of all things good, holy and/or made of chocolate (1), did you not say something _sooner_!"

Now I blush. To be perfectly honest... when I first noticed the rip, I thought it was part of the design. You never know with fashion today! Besides, it's not like it made her look _bad_...

"Look," her tone softens as she turns, exasperated, to me, "I'm gonna go change. Make yourself at home, blah blah blah, I'll be just a minute."

I can't help but smile at her less than conventional welcome. I try to keep my cool as I nod in thanks, and she leaves the room.

It's a small apartment. This room and the one that she just retreated to are probably the only two. She only arrived a few nights ago, but there are next to no indications of her _not_ having lived here for most of her life. Her things are all over the place, leaving a bit of a mess, but it really is a cozy little place.

"Hey!" she greets me brightly as she reappears, apparently in better spirits now that the skirt has been abandoned. _I _didn't mind it, but then I suppose that's just me. She's now wearing a simple, earth-toned kimono.

I smile. I bet I look goofy, but I can't help it. It's hard not to when she looks so... happy.

"So, you wanna listen to some music? What do you like? I got..." moving to a shelf stacked with CD's and cassettes, she skims through the pile and randomly tosses albums onto the make-shift bed (2) behind her (woah, did _not_ notice that before...), "K's Choice, Sigur Ros, Cream, Faure, Garbage, Queen, Jefferson Airplane, all the great Mozart arias, Pink Floyd, Ray Charles, ooh, and Bizet, and-"

I glance down at the rapidly developing mess of music, eyeing the recordings of _Carmen _and _Don Giovanni_, lying just underneath _Electric Ladyland _and _Janis Joplin- Greatest Hits_. (3)

"You like Heart? They're pretty good. I've got _Dreamboat Annie_, which is definitely worth listen- oh, yes, definitely _this_!" I look up as she waves an album labeled _Fumbling Towards Ecstasy_, "Sarah Mclachlan," she informs me, popping the CD into an enormous stereo.

I shake my head, seating myself timidly on the edge of her bed.

"You're insane, you know that?"

She smiles, pressing "play" and adjusting the volume.

"So, appreciation for music is an automatic sign of insanity, is it?"

"I don't see why it shouldn't be."

She turns, joining me on the bed.

"Neither do I," she admits.

* * *

_I'm not frightened anymore..._

* * *

"So Shizuka," she begins, not looking at me, "did you meet someone... you know... _special _out there?"

"Uh... well I..."

Kaoruko... (4)

"...Not really, no."

So I lied. No biggy. It's not like she would _want_ to hear about it. She'd probably be grossed out and start avoiding me and...

Wait a minute- what am I thinking? This is _Anzu_!

She's staring at me now. Okay... whatever _that_ look means... I think she's figured out that I'm not telling her the truth...

"Well actually... there was somebody. But we're over now," I add quickly.

She's still staring, taking on a more guarded look.

"What happened?"

"Cheated on me," I admit, pleased with how cleverly I avoided having to define the gender of this person by using bad grammar.

Her expression suddenly moulds into shock.

"What a bastard!"

I blush. I don't know why... I guess just because the way she said it sounded so... protective. My imagination runs off with images of me in Anzu's arms as she pulls me closer, whispering that no one would hurt me as long as she lives...

Woah, snap out of it, Shizuka! Keep your head firmly on your shoulders!

"Well it wasn't, I mean, I got over it," I finally manage.

"Still..." her eyes narrow slightly, "If you give me his name and address..."

"Heh," I chuckle nervously, occupying my fingers with undoing my hair, "That's uh, well I... think I have something to uh, tell you..."

She waits patiently for me to continue, eyeing me with curiosity and- ooh, is that concern?

"Thing is... it's a she," I spit out.

She looks confused.

"Wait, who?"

"The one whom I went out with... and who cheated on me... is a girl."

It takes a moment, but the realization visibly dawns on her. Her expression is again unreadable, and awfully... soft.

"...I'm gay," I blurt out, completely unnecessarily.

* * *

_It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh..._

* * *

I know what I'm going to do. But I think I won't do it. I'm so sure. (5)

But... oh God... I've just gone done it.

I lost control completely, idiot that I am. After staring into her beautiful face for a few moments longer than I should have, I started tuning out reason and listening to my heart for once, and it wanted this. It still does. But does she?

I pull back, suddenly aware of what I'm doing.

She's staring at me in shock, hesitantly touching the lips that I had just pressed my own against (5). She brings her hand down again and continues to stare.

"Shizuka..." I can't even manage to apologize. And I don't really want to, actually. I want to see what she does.

"Did you mean that?" she asks suddenly.

I nod quickly, understanding, "Yes. I think... I think I'm in love with you, Shizuka." (6)

* * *

_It's my mouth that pushes out this breath...

* * *

_

I can't stop gawking. She kissed me! _Anzu_ kissed me!

"I just wanted you to know," she continues in her constantly apologetic way, "I'm not asking that you love me-"

"Anzu..."

What a truly brilliant response. Quite an impressive usage of vocabulary- so informative, so fitting, so... moronic. Honestly.

"If you like we can forget that this ever happened," she graciously offers.

"Anzu!"

Forget _that_? Are you _kidding_ me?

"But I hope we can at least continue to be friends and-"

This is just too much for me. In a desperate attempt to get her to _just stop talking_, I launch myself at her, attacking her lips with mine. She hesitates before wrapping her arms around me and pulling me closer.

As air is decidedly becoming an issue, I pull back a little and just snuggle up against her, arms wrapped about her neck.

"Will I have to do that every time I want you to shut up?" I ask softly, smiling up at her. She slyly smiles back.

"Should I take that as an 'I love you too?'"

"No, no. Wait for the words," I instruct.

"Meaning that they are actually coming?" she asks hopefully.

"Sure," I offer.

"When?"

"Patience, patience! I have to do it right."

I pull back to face her directly, looking seriously into her eyes. I take in a deep, dramatic breath.

And start giggling, falling forward onto her shoulders.

"...I love you too, Anzu," I whisper, giggles aside.

And I do.

* * *

**A/n**: Good grief... I kind of like the last line, but somehow it feels like eggs slamming against a wall. If that makes... any sense. I mean its all flowy and ladeeda and prettiful and then suddenly blah. I mean, I guess that fits Shizuka's personality pretty well, though.

Footnotes! I actually have _footnotes_! I usually tend to find them just a tad distracting and sometimes downright _irritating_, but I decided to do 'em due to the length of this chapter.

(1.) I'm afraid this is a fruitless statement, as chocolate _is_ good and holy and perhaps should be classified under the list of good and holy things instead of stand on its own. But then, chocolate is to some people a wonder beyond the good and the holy, so perhaps separation is indeed appropriate.

(2.) We're talking pretty much just a mattress sitting at most a foot off of the floor.

(3.) Dude, that is such a perfect depiction of my musical tastes. I love classical and new-age and stuff, but I also greatly appreciate hard-rock and alternative. Siiiiiigh.

(4.) If anyone cares, this is the name of a girl mentioned in the first series anime who competes in some popularity contest against Anzu and Miho and Jounouchi (who dresses in drag to see if that helps him out at all!), and cheats to win. Atem gives her some kind of punishment, like always being sad or seeing herself as ugly or something.

(5.) Heheh, I totally stole that from Ryou VeRua. Read her stuff, 'tis fun!

(6.) This may be a little cryptic, but it's kinda supposed to be. Shizuka of course is not able to make much sense, but because they think similarly, Anzu is able to grasp her meaning anyways.

I should probably have done more revising of this story, but I figured I'd just post it. Why not, ne?

FIN.


End file.
